I know most will call me weird or crazy when I tell them. Some people can't understand what I'm talking about.
"Are you serious?"they'll say. "Really?" they'll inquire while looking at me like I have a third eye, a hunched-back or admit to liking potted meat (I really don't).
So what is this horrible, unforgivable, ostracizing condition?
I hate seafood!!!
My version of culinary hell
There, I said it. Are you happy now?
All my life I've cringed when people would go on and on about some blackened this or that, some shrimp cocktail, or an all you can eat fish fry for ONLY $8. And I'm thinking, give me 5 dollar burgers, 2 dollar fries, and the biggest Dr. Pepper you can buy for a dollar and I'll be happier than eating 12 fish fillets.
There is, however, one seafood delicacy that I do long for; one tempting morsel of fin wearing fodder that tempts my palate even though I know it is seafood - the Filet-o-Fish burger from McDonald's.
But it must be made the old fashioned way (see picture above). You know, the way they made it before they tried to satiate the nanny state by making it "healthier" by adding iceberg lettuce.
Let's make a deal, you look for healthy at McDonald's and I'll look for the wonderful "Wizard of Oz". I'll probably be more successful.
Anyway, back to the filet-o-fish. It is really very simple to assemble - bun, cheese (optional), filet-o-fish, gobs of tartar sauce, bun. That's it, nothing else - simple and delicious.
I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. I may even try to assemble one at home myself, from all natural ingredients, of course.
I just need to know where to catch one of those square fish.
Flashback - fall of 1995. Newt Gingrich, first Republican Speaker of the House since the 1940's is going toe to toe with Democratic President Bill Clinton over the budget for fiscal year 1996.
Both men want their vision of the budget implemented. Gingrich, less spending and Clinton, more spending.
The new fiscal year begins - still no budget. Congress and the President agree on several continuing resolutions. These continuing resolutions keep the government operating for a set period of time (usually two weeks each) at the previous year's spending levels.
Finally, it all comes to a head. The Republican Congress send Clinton a spending bill he can't agree to, and he vetoes the bill. Without Congress authorizing spending, the government shuts down. From November 14-19, 1995 and December 16, 1995 - January 6, 1996, all non-essential government workers were placed on furlough, and all non-essential government services were suspended.
Guess what? We survived. Life does not revolve around the idiots in Washington. And it taught us a very important lesson: Why is government doing anything that is non-essential anyway? Our Founding Fathers believed in a very small, limited government; not one involved in every aspect of our lives.
Shut down all non-essential government functions permanently, and let freedom ring once again in this great nation!